Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home
Why Parents Drink
Re: Why Parents Drink
That's hilarious.




"Those in whose judgment I rely, tell me that I fought the battle splendidly and that it was a masterpiece of art.” - George McClellan to his wife describing the battle of Antietam
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Re: Why Parents Drink
My wife and me really laughed out loud with this one, thank you for the great humor.
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Re: Why Parents Drink
Thank you.
"To walk into to almost certain death is insane,to do it with honor is heroic."
- Little Powell
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Re: Why Parents Drink
I can think of a few other reasons why I'm a parent and I drink, but this one is a good reason indeed.. 

Last edited by Little Powell on Thu Sep 15, 2011 4:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Why Parents Drink
I figured the one basically leads to the other, automatically and without qualification. Sometimes the latter leads to the former, but that's a different story, I reckon. :pinch:I can think of a few other reasons why I'm a parent and I drink
"The time for compromises is past, and we are now determined to maintain our position and make all who oppose us smell Southern powder, feel Southern steel."
Jefferson Davis, 1861
Jefferson Davis, 1861
- Little Powell
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Re: Why Parents Drink
"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer SimpsonI figured the one basically leads to the other, automatically and without qualification. Sometimes the latter leads to the former, but that's a different story, I reckon. :pinch:I can think of a few other reasons why I'm a parent and I drink
:laugh: