Scourge of War Boards

Why Parents Drink


A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope
with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can
get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the Report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home

That's hilarious.

Holy testicle. That is amusing.

My wife and me really laughed out loud with this one, thank you for the great humor.

Thank you.

I can think of a few other reasons why I'm a parent and I drink, but this one is a good reason indeed..

I can think of a few other reasons why I'm a parent and I drink

I figured the one basically leads to the other, automatically and without qualification. Sometimes the latter leads to the former, but that's a different story, I reckon. :pinch:

I can think of a few other reasons why I'm a parent and I drink

I figured the one basically leads to the other, automatically and without qualification. Sometimes the latter leads to the former, but that's a different story, I reckon. :pinch:

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson

:laugh: