This is what boredom does to you

[william1993]

I was bored, so I wrote about how I met one of my college friends.

[william1993]

I think possibly facebook won't let you see it, and I cannot upload a docx...so here it is.
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On September 7, 2010, a date which will live in infamy, William Alexander Carter was most expeditiously accosted by buccal and masticationary forces of Loy Scott.
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William at that point had had no aforementioned contact with that human and at that moment was looking to maintain the balance of food entering his stomach.
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Indeed, only 15 minutes after he began masticating, the ambassador of Hickory Flat delivered to him a reply to a recent lack of seating area, which was to emplace herself in his vicinity.
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Those diplomatic negotiations contained no hint of mutual friendship or raunchiness.
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It may be recorded that the distance between William Alexander Carter and the next available seat was traversable only with the output of much energy, and that this masticationary interlude must have been planned on the spur of the moment. During the intervening thought moments Loy Scott must have deliberately sought to accost William Alexander Carter through wierd looks and expressions of immminent satisfaction.
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The assault just moment's before on Loy Scott's seating arrangements had caused much destruction, and I regret to tell you, many prime seating areas were lost.
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She was chased from a table of painted people.
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She was looked at funny by more painted people at another table
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A third table was full.
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Loy Scott therefore undertook an offensive in the middle area of the Johnson Commons in order to find a place in which to masticate her lunch.
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William Alexander Carter had already formed his opinion of her and therefore let her remain in his vicinity.
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As a human being, I had directed that all measures be taken for me to act like one.
No matter how long it took me to masticate my lunch, I had decreed that I would not be a dick and send her away.
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I believe I assert myself for the rest of humanity when I say that someone's size or looks should not be a catalyst for social ostracism.
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This exists. There is no denying it.
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With confidence in my humanity, I shall gain a friend, so help me Bacon and Eggs.
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I ask that Facebook declare, since the time of mastication aforementioned, that a state of Friendship has existed between William Alexander Carter and Loy Scott.
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William Alexander Carter,Bored Negro, Student,University of Mississippi, given in his hand, October 1, 2011